And then you’re on your very first date
and he’s got a car and you feel like flying
Okay, so that was the only song line I could think of, but what I’m about to write about is not my first date. It is, however, my first real relationship. Here we go:
This is how the story went:
I met someone by accident
I actually don’t remember when or where I first met him, although he insists it was at one of those open parties way back in seventh grade. In which case, I’ve known him for about 5 or 6 years. What I do remember is that for the longest time, I wasn’t exactly his biggest fan. We had a friend in common and I would often ask her why she’d bother wasting her time with a guy like him. It wasn’t that I actively disliked him; I barely knew the guy. I would only say these things when his name happened to pop up.
Friends, lovers, or nothing
There’ll never be an in between, so give it up
and then there was a party. This was about 2 and a half years ago and I was given the chance to really hang out with him. Over the course of the next few years, we started hanging out a lot and eventually became the best of friends. I even took him to my graduation ball.
I’m sorry it’s taking me so long
to find out what I’m feeling
It wasn’t the most usual of friendships. Everyone, my friends and his, seemed pretty convinced that we’d eventually get together. I didn’t see it though. I’d take all his flirtatious jokes as just that- jokes. Of course I’d considered it, but the possibility of it just seemed too out there, because I never would’ve imagined someone like him could be remotely interested in someone like me. And I don’t mean that in any sort of insecure/not good enough for him type of way. We’re just two very different people.
In another life, I could be your girl
We’d keep all our promises; be us against the world
A couple of months ago, a few truths came out. I found out that for all that time, what I always understood as an inside joke, was actually a lot more than that to him. And hearing him say all these things to my face made me start to think about all the could-have-beens and the lingering looks or moments that I always took out of context in the past. By that time, his feelings for me seemed to have faded, but the possibility of it all started creeping into my head, no matter how much I tried to keep it away. But there were circumstances and these thoughts remained thoughts as I did my best to be the same friend I’d always been to him.
And I love the way you say good morning
and you take me the way I am
Circumstances changed. And now, here we are. It was such a natural relationship to fall into. Suddenly, I find myself understanding my friends a lot better. For as long as I can remember they’d throw the “You don’t get it; you’ve never been in a relationship” excuse at me and that was quite a blow, but I understand now where they were coming from. It’s definitely not what I thought it would be. In some ways, it’s even better. There is no beginning of the relationship dance where we turn to our respective best friends to figure the other out; the perks of dating your best friend, we always say. It is what it is and what it is is pretty incredible.
